My Neighbor is Creepy.

That's just a fact of life. She ninja's into my garage and closes the door, even if I'm home and left it open for a reason. Weirdo.

Today was okay. My criminology teacher has an issue with getting her point across. I'm sure she knows exactly what she's talking about, but her thought process is like a bag of popcorn being heated up in the microwave. POP here's a thought and POP here's another and POP here's a totally irrelevant fact and POP on and on. . . .but I hope it gets more interesting as the class moves on.

Also, remember Santa Claus professor? Someone dropped his class because they thought he was scary. I lol'd, because he totally looks and sounds like Santa. I've imagined him going "Ho ho ho!" many times. He's the only professor I have that doesn't have any visual aid while he teaches, which is good because I think that's better for me, kinda like pre-training for KU.


HERE'S THE REAL BLOG POST.

Sister is in prison. Real, county prison. For a year. She's only about 30 minutes away, so my mom and I occasionally go see her even though I harbor deep resentment for her and secretly wish she would die. I go because my mom doesn't want to go alone, and this story is exactly why. So, Mom goes to visit Sister at 7 (without me, because I have to babysit my nephew) and finds out that she has to wait until 8 to talk to her.

Why?

Because another girl already has a visitor and she doesn't like Sister. If they were in the same room, she and Sister would have fought and Sister probably would have lost. I'm not lying. To make this story even better is the girl who hates Sister's visitor was her sister who had a warrant out for her arrest.
 Now, I'm sure most people who read this have never actually visited anyone in jail before (it's exactly like the movies, btw. A little booth with a phone and a window. The phones are total shit and it sounds like they're whispering). But, when you check in at the front desk area you tell the officer (sitting behind bullet proof glass) who you want to see and give them your drivers license via a little drawer. Obviously the guards run a check on you with your drivers license. Why wouldn't they? Shit, I would. Just to see the kind of freaks that come in.

Back to the girl with the warrant. Obviously they checked her license, and obviously they found the warrant. A few guards went up to arrest her stupid ass and she tried to run. Now, the visiting floor you are in is just a long hallway of little booths. The only way in and out is an elevator.

She tried to run. When running didn't work, she tried to fight the guards. She was eventually wrestled off to a holding cell where she was booked. If that is not the best display or stupidity you have ever heard, I don't know what is. That is hilarious.

You know what I took away from this jail story? My mom brought me home Chick-Fil-A.

Hnnngh Life Hurts

So, today was almost horrible. Actually, no. It was pretty bad. But not bad in the "I HATE THE WHOLE WORLD EVERYONE SUCKS" way, more in the "I'm so tired I'm going to cry" way. Basically is started with my brain saying "WHY IS IT 7:00 WHY IS THIS ALARM GOING OFF I'M NEVER HAVING A MORNING CLASS EVER AGAIN THIS IS HORRIBLE" Since I have to physically get up to turn my alarm off and I wasn't going back to sleep with that incessant beeping, I got up already hating life.While I was hating my life, I realized that my parents forgot to leave the checkbook so I couldn't buy the rest of my books and complete my homework. Crap.

After I woke up and got dressed life wasn't so bad again but I wasn't hungry. HOWEVER since I have severe anemia I have to eat to take my iron. And I knew I had to take iron because iron = oxygen in my blood which = more oxygen to my organs which = I'm more awake and more able to pay attention.

Which is vital, I'm sure you know. Why go to class if I'm going to sleep? So I ate a half a poptart, took my 325 mg's of iron for the morning and fled. Well, that turned out to be a horrible idea. I got out of bio early, around 9:30, and my stomach was in HORRIBLE PAIN. There is a reason they tell you to take iron with food, trust me. So since I felt like a midget was attacking my stomach with a hammer, the obvious solution was Wendy's Breakfast. Their sandwiches are sketchy, btw. I don't recommend them. I ate it all anyway because I needed something in my stomach to placate the iron midgets living there.

It was then that I realized the checkbook had been in my parents room all along. Now I had to drive back to school to buy two history books. My stupid criminology teacher also didn't bother to mention there was a second book attached to the first and I needed just the second BUT NO. They couldn't sell me JUST that one. Now I have to find it on the internet, hnngh. And it's only 5 dollars, but I have to buy it from a sketchy person through Barnes and Noble and with shipping and tax it's like 10.

ANYWAY. I got home with my books to relax, only to finally get a call back from my oral surgeon saying that I could come pick up my special syringe to clean out my holes. Which is in Liberty. Which is 30 minutes away. I got back into my car and drove out. Then I thought I was going to get delicious Chick-Fil-A but I got lost and confused. Plus I was almost out of gas so I just went home.

Then, as if my day wasn't tiring enough I started frothing at my mouth on the way home (I believe this is linked to the earlier iron incident). And now I'm home, curled up about ready to pass out.

Santa Claus is my Professor

So, you all know that girl from Legally Blonde, (No, not Reese Whitherspoon) Elle's friend with the brown hair? Yeah, my criminology teacher sounds just like her. It's really distracting. And I think it might make it hard for me to take her seriously too. I mean, she's from missouri. Why does she have a heavy valley girl accent.

My second professor is Santa.

 THAT only with a more trimmed beard. It's hilarious. He's nice though, so I think I'll enjoy that class a lot.

My last professor. . . .I'm not sure on. She. . . .Well, the internet excites/confuses her. And she told us this. Now, I know pretty much everything about the internet. I have been into the dark corners where hopefully most of you will never find yourselves. The internet is not large and mysterious, it's just bulky. Like a middle-aged man who ate too much at thanksgiving. Finding information is ridiculously easy, and finding out if that information is credible or not is even easier. So right now she kind of seems like an idiot but who knows.


My favorite is Santa Claus

ALSO: Computer fixy guy came and my laptop is all better! Yay!

I'M SORRY I'M A HORRIBLE BLOGGER.

So I didn't post yesterday. BUT WITH GOOD REASON!

My laptop flipped out on me. The screen suddenly filled with vertical lines and it was horrible and depressing. Now I have to wait for dell to call me so someone can come out and fix the screen. Yay warranties! I start college tomorrow and I don't have my criminology book because Barnes and Noble is a dirty liar and did NOT get my book to me in 1-3 days. I hope that they come tomorrow, cause I need biology too. YOU BEST GET HERE.

Anyway, I only have 76 class days. 4 days a week, that's not too bad. I think college will be okay. I'm confident. I just want to see what it's like. I'm kind of excited. . .probably not as much as I would be if I were at KU, though.

I really don't have anything else to say. OH I got Nair. I hope it will work because I suck at shaving. I have pasty white skin, and my body hair is white-blond. If I were tan I'd be able to see it. BUT NO. I can't see the hair on my body. People have actually asked if I shave my eyebrows/arms.

No. No, I do not. Shaving your eyebrows/arms is weird, unless you have ridiculous arm hair. Wax your eyebrows.

I once knew a girl in 6th grade who shaved her eyebrows off and tried to color them in with an orange marker. She was in my gym class, and was really proud of her work.

Tomorrow I will share my first day of college with the world.

My Cat is So MotherFucking Pretty

So I am about 98.99% sure that my gorgeous motherfucking cat is a Norwegian Forest Cat. Those cats are BAD. ASS. I mean, look at these cats:

Those are some motherfucking beautiful cats. That second picture might as well be of my cat, it looks just like him. The first one does too, but the second is JUST. LIKE. MY. CAT. It's apparently a very common weegie fur pattern.

Look at that beautiful motherfucker. He is so fucking regal and awesome. He is a motherfucking Norwegian Forest Cat. The best breed of them all. Did you know the vikings used them while they were raping and pillaging towns? FUCK YES THEY DID. Did you know they climb down trees face-forward? FUCK YES THEY DO.

DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE LOYAL AS SHIT? BECAUSE THEY ARE. MY WEEGIE IS SLEEPING WITH ME RIGHT NOW! HE SLEEPS ON MY BED EVERY MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT.

He is only 2 years old and named Beauford. Fuckyea. I love this cat.

I was going to post more on Norwegian Forest Cats, but I think this post has gone on long enough. Goodnight.

I Want a Tractor

I literally didn't do anything today except watch My Big Redneck Wedding. Which was hilarious and terrifying at the same time, considering that one bride put horse manure in water balloons and threw them at people during a wedding party game. Yeah. So instead what I am going to do is grace you with a story from my childhood. Now, my family is a fairly normal one with the exception of my sister. She is mother fucking insane. I can name at least 9 Christmases that I remember her ruining, and my parents can name many more. (That's only Christmas, btw. My birthdays and other holidays have their own numbers.)

I'll share just a short one with you, this is a little tale called "Albuquerque"

My Aunt lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My 7th grade year everyone on my dad's side decided it would be a swell idea to go down to Albuquerque for Christmas. Yaaaay. I feel like I need to mention now that my sister is an Anti-Social (Not personality, the mental disorder) Bi-Polar, Manic Depressive, Multiple Personality (Not DID, it's a mood disorder similar to Bi-Polar) drug addict, who loves prescription medication. (Not to say she hasn't done literally every other drug in the book.)

So, we all flew down to Albuquerque. I have tried my best to repress most of that vacation because it sucked. A lot. But I'm trying to recall the most vital Sister moments. Mostly she wasn't around for the things we did because getting high off prescriptions isn't like other drugs, you don't hallucinate and freak out. Mostly you just feel really good and go to sleep. And that is what Sister did. Sleep, sleep, sleep. She slept all the time. You have to remember that I was in 7th grade and 12 during all this, so my parents tried to keep me occupied by buying me things and letting me watch TV and play on my other sisters laptop.

There were many arguments with my sister involved, namely because she stole money from my grandmothers purse while "napping" upstairs. My grandmother is a bitter and old hag, who has never (and will never) forget this.

The most vivid memory I have of the horrifying Albuquerque trip is of Christmas Eve. My Grandfather was a pastor, so everyone on my dad's side grew up as a church family. My grandmother was the Pastor's Wife who cooked and cleaned and was happy, and my dad and aunts were the happy and well behaved children. What I'm trying to say is, you're basically expected to go to church. Christmas Eve is a definite must.

I am normally very impatient at church services and my family (Dad, Mom and I) never really went to them. I always enjoyed Christmas Eve though because they gave me candles to play with. So while I was occupied with the candle I failed to notice that my mom had not come in with Sister (who threw a fit about coming). Until, that is, my dad left the church. He was gone for a long time in which Eric (my super-cool cousin-in-law) tried to distract me by having a candle duel. Dad came back after a long while, and when the service was over, instead of going back to the house for delicious snacks I had to go sit in the emergency room while Sister threw a fit at the doctor until she got the meds she wanted. My parents were pissed, and I was hungry.

It was a horrible Christmas eve.

It was a horrible Christmas (Thanks, Grandma, for that talking watch and mini hairbrush). But that's nothing compared to the time when she scheduled a surgery on my birthday and my parents totally forgot about me and gave me my presents still in the Wal-Mart shopping bags. . .

Oh, but that's another story.

I Suck at Making Titles

Had to go up to my college campus today to talk to the magical free money lady, get some books, and find my classes. I wanted to go before lunch so I could have delicious Wendy's chicken nuggets after, but I ended up waking at like 11:30. So I had to get ready lightning fast, only to spend an hour and a half waiting in the financial aid office because everyone and their mom was there. Literally. Now, I'm a horrible terrible person who likes to laugh at others. So if you're a kind soul who likes to love everyone no matter what, don't read this. Or do and just realize that I'm a terrible person and already know.

The first woman in there was huge. Like, massively huge. I don't mean overweight because I am overweight, and overweight doesn't really look that bad. This woman was taking up two whole chairs. Two whole chairs. I didn't laugh so much as I felt bad. I mean, she's in community college and obviously not young. And ginormous. Like, she had two stomachs ginormous. I can't express this enough.

The second person in there was this really hardcore goth guy with gauges in his ears and dark clothing. . . .bouncing around to Corrine Baily Rae* playing on the radio in the office. That made me laugh. It was a lot like this picture:

He was genuinely funny. Then there were the two girls next to me who were pretty in a way that made it look like they were trying too hard. They were kind of harsh to listen to. They were trying to whisper, but it was that louder-than-your-normal-voice-whisper. Their conversation went like this:

Girl 1: Yeah, ohmigosh we need to see <soandso> because everything and I sooo miss high school this sucks!
Girl 2: Me too! But I have this one class first so it will be cool
Girl 1: Ohh, I should have-
Gril 2: Do you need an oil change?
Girl 1: I dunno, why?
Girl 2: I found this ten dollar off coupon in my purse.
Girl 1: Ohhh yeah! Then I do need one, cool.

That was their whole basic conversation, stopping occasionally to giggle at basically nothing. And complaining that they hadn't been called yet.

Then there was a kid whose dad brought him in because he's apparently not a big boy yet and still needs daddy's help to get his shit done. It was extra funny because the boy was dressed like a hardxcore punkrocker with fo-hawked red dyed hair and fancy hot topic clothes.

Nothing was better than the hipster chick. She came in and didn't bother to sign in (As you are required to do- apparently she's so cool that they just knew she was there). Then she proceeded to sit crosslegged on a chair (ironically, of course) and text on her iPhone, with the sound turned all the way up so everyone knew she was talking to people. Now, she was the last person to come in the office. Everyone there had been waiting for at least 30 minutes for someone to talk to. After five minutes of annoying text sounds she goes up to the (overly rude) receptionist woman and says "Is there, like, any other time I can come back when it's not so. . . .busy? I can't wait."

This receptionist looked at her for a long time and said "No, it's the start of the year. It will always be like this, go wait." Only she said it in a hilarious black woman voice filled with contempt. I laughed on the inside when hipstergirl walked out in a huff. I'm sure she had a very ironic concert to go to with a band no one has ever heard of, but she's best friends with.

After my adventures at the financial aid office, I had to go buy my books which wasn't as big of a deal, except that my rental history book says "No marks except yellow highlighter" and I feel like it is a trap. I am renting this book from the college, and they say I can highlight? SUSPICIOUS.

And I did get my delicious Wendy's lunch. . . .AT 2:00. Kinda late but that's okay. It was tasty.

*This is the song he was dancing to.

WHY IS COLLEGE DUMB

So I woke up this morning bright and happy. Nothing wrong. I open my e-mail and find this:

"MATH 175 - MATH - Mathematics, Class #(s)41076

The above class is being cancelled due to lack of enrollment.  You may login to myMCCKC to swap into another class or visit any campus registration office to make the change.

Should you choose not to select another class, you will be dropped and receive a 100% refund.  If you receive financial aid, dropping a class may affect your award.  Contact your campus financial aid advisor for questions."

BLAHBLAHBLAH WE SUCK BALLS. Why are you telling me this a week before classes start. How the hell am I supposed to find a replacement class?! And you're going to drop me if I don't?! 

Even if they don't drop me because of that one class, my magical free money will because without that class I'm not a full time student!

I HATE THIS COLLEGE.

UPDATE: So I found a new class and now I don't have to drive 30 minutes to Longview OR have a class on friday. F-yea criminology. Not 100% sure what it's about, but I kind of thought about maybe being a law clerk (like being a lawyer except you don't have to talk to the court), so it might be a good way to test that out. See if it's interesting or not.  The only downside is it's at 8AM but that's okay, I'll live. 

And I just ordered two of my books, and will be going to get the other three tomorrow at the bookstore. So expensive ugh. And everyone is like "go to amazon!" but my school isn't fancy and expensive like theirs so my campus bookstore is actually cheaper than most online sites. So there's that. 

Also I really want my holes to fill in for my wisdom teeth. It freaks me the fuck out knowing I have four gaping holes in the back of my mouth. How does that not freak anyone out?!

Also I really want some Wendy's chicken nuggets.

Textbooks are Expensive and Confusing

So, I'm buying my college textbooks and they are epensive. I know you say "But, Kat, everyone knows that. Why is this a blog post." I know, but that doesn't mean it is okay for an "acceptable" version of a textbook to cost 200 dollars, while a brand new one is only $110.

That does not make sense in any way shape or form. I went to amazon and it's like "Ohai, we're the really sketchy outside sources you can buy books through and you don't really trust us and we're sketchy, that's why we are going to charge you $200 for a book that even the college bookstore offers for less. People will totally buy that, even though it is described as "very worn with considerable markings"."

Way to go, sketchy online book sellers.

Also I just freaked out because I have to drive 30 minutes to another campus to take one class because my campus didn't have it. But I knew that, I freaked out because I thought that another class that was at my campus transferred to KU as the same thing.

But then I realized that I didn't have to right prerequiste for this magical new class, and would have to take precalculus and I immediately felt better.

I'll take a 30 minute drive each way over two math classes any day.

DEAR DIARY

Since no one reads this, it might as well be.

Side thought: I should start my own "Dear Kat" service. I could give terrible advice and it would be awesome.

I have come to the realization that being a functional, acceptable person in society will never happen without the help of other people. I suck at being a girl. I'm not 100% sure how make up works, or if I'm doing it correctly. Thank god I don't really need foundation of blush or anything (Thanks roseascha!) because I think anything other than eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner and lip. . .stuff. . .would be too much. I think I have mascara down pretty good, you just put it on your eyelashes right? Right. I think I'm doing eyeliner wrong, but that's okay because I think I look good. (Or like a raccoon, really it's up to you.) Eyeshadow is totally lost on me. I get that you put the colors on your eyelid, but there are other steps?! What is this about my "brow bone"? WTF IS THAT?! I. . . I think I get it, but probably not. If you ever see me feel free to point it out, or not saying anything. I am happy in thinking that I don't look like a whore.

Also I can't color coordinate worth my life. Why don't pink and purple go together? Or brown and black? I don't understand. You're telling me red and yellow are bad? But why? They look fine to me.

This might be why other sims shriek when my sim walks by.

P.S. What do you do with bras that are too small for you? I'm at a loss, because I don't want to throw them away, but you can't donate used bras (understandably).

P.P.S. Here is a picture my friend Bethany drew of her boyfriend Matt. Enjoy.

Cleaning is Hard

I'm attempting to clean my room of all the things that remind me of High School. I hated it a lot, it was a cesspool of insecurity and fear for me, and I'm glad to put it behind me. But cleaning is so hard for someone who is motivated so rarely. And I have an odd attachment to bad clothing.

Let me elaborate: in 8th grade, as per a normal 8th grader, I thought it was cool to have shirts that had stupid sayings on them (like, "I'm up and dressed, what more do you want?"). However, my parents hardly ever buy me new clothes. Mostly because I am completely incapable of being a girl and knowing how to properly dress myself, and partly because I just don't care enough to bother them about it. Unfortunately, this meant that as I grew up through high school my wardrobe did not follow. Around Junior year I really started to loath all those stupid t-shirts, and longed to be rid of them. The only problem was I lacked any clothes besides those t-shirts. I had to keep them.

Thankfully my much more fashionable sister came to my rescue and gave me a 100 dollar gift card to Old Navy for graduation, with the promise that she would take me and help me be more fashion-conscious (i.e. pick clothes out for me and show me how to wear them.) I just recently went with her this weekend and basically obtained a whole new wardrobe lacking those t-shirts (which she banned me from wearing ever again.) This means it is time to donate the ones that don't have holes in them, and it is surprisingly sad.

Maybe it's because they've been the only thing I wore since 8th grade, maybe it's because I'm a pack rat and like to keep everything I own regardless if I actually need/want them or not. I've been folding t-shirts sadly all day (and secretly keeping a few of my old anime ones that I will probably never wear again, but deep in my soul I still kind-of like anime and I don't want to totally let go of it.)

I know as soon as the process of getting rid of all my old high school stuff is done I will feel loads better, but right now it's just kind of like I'm ripping a piece of my self out and putting it away. Which I need to do so I can transition into college and make new friends and have new and awesome experiences. By the way, I'm totally expecting college to be mind-blowingly awesome. I've probably set my expectations too high but I don't care. The media has promised me awesome college experiences, and I want them damnit!

It's really amazing how many memories a person can accumulate over the course of six years (I'm counting middle school).

(You don't have to read this next part if your name isn't Chloe, but you can if you want.)

Dear Chloe,

I found all that old TTA stuff and feel a strike of nostalgia and want to go back and find all of it again, but I'm afraid it wont be as awesome as I remember.

The end.

Kate.

(The rest of you can start reading again.)

Anyway, I just feel kind-of sad and nostalgic. Like the fact that I'm moving on just now hit me. I'm never going back to High School. Ever.

I don't have to see anyone from there ever again if I don't want to.

I can totally start over new.

I am excited and scared.

I have too many thoughts

To just kind of bounce around in my head.

So I started a blog! (I am so completely original, I know. It's amazing.)

I am kind of a ridiculous person, with too many insecurities to name. Well, actually just one, but it's a pretty life-destroying one. More on that later. Maybe tomorrow.

BUT LATELY people have been annoying me in a major way.

I am 18, and I am supposed to be going to college. Well, technically I am, but I have to go to piece of shit community college for free because I did a bunch of community service and completed this program thing. My parents think it's great, because I'm going for free and they don't have to pay, but I'm pissed. All I ever wanted was to go to the University of Kansas. I cried in the 5th grade, because I had a 'F' in spelling, and I thought that it meant KU wouldn't accept me.

KU has literally been my sole dream and life goal. I don't even know what I want to do with my life, except go to KU. And I can't, because my parents want me to go to this shitty community college instead. It definitely doesn't help that I have to live with my one year old nephew, because my sister is too worthless to raise her own child (and in prison for a year). I have what is probably the worlds thinnest veil of patience, too. But only sometimes. Sometimes I'm totally fine and able to function like a normal person, but other times I will be really angry for no reason in particular and then I just like to hate everything/one. Woe is my nephew on those days. He's just a one year old, but one year olds by nature are annoying.

I hate children. Not even in a normal, sane way. I loathe being around children. Mostly because I value peace and quiet and aloneness, and children totally take that idea and vomit all over it.

Thanks children.

This was a very random post. I needed to air out my thoughts. So, in conclusion:

I really fucking wish I was going to KU.
My nephew is generally pretty annoying, but it's not really his fault.

I ARE ANGRY.

I'm not normally this hateful, it's just those things.

Promise.