Saturday, May 4, 2013

:(

I had another anxiety attack last night.

It really came out of nowhere, I was feeling really good and then all of a sudden: bam. You hate yourself, everyone hates you, you're trash, no one wants to be your friend.

It was sort of triggered by my best friend ignoring my facebook messages, I had sent her one and I know she saw it but didn't respond. I never get to see her, so online is the only way we talk. And I know it's because her boyfriend is over, she never talks to me when he's there. I get that he's more important than I am, but I just. I dunno. She's the only friend I really have and it hurts when she ignores me.

But it's not her fault, I always get anxiety attacks and I don't know why and I can't stop them. All I can do is go to sleep and hope I feel better when I wake up. Today I didn't feel better at all.

She said the reason she didn't answer is because she fell asleep.

So now I feel more stupid.

She doesn't really know I get these attacks, I don't want to burden her. I don't want to be clingy.

I just want someone who likes me.